Let me tell you what awaits a man who marries a woman like that, who spent her 20s hooking up with hot guys who had no interest in marriage and no demonstrated ability to protect, provide and lead on moral/spiritual issues. Some girls are able to resist that message, which saturates every aspect of the media and schools, but most girls aren’t, and they don’t develop the necessary wisdom until it is too late. However, what most of us don’t seem to understand is that young women make the terrible choices that they are making because they are told from an early age that these are actually good choices. I don’t think a White Knight should ride in to save her because I think she should suffer the natural consequences of her decisions so that other young women may see and learn from her errors, but I take no pleasure in the fact that she will have this lot in life. Personally, I feel no joy in this woman’s pain.
And when you have been told from a very young age that, as a girl, it is your destiny to Have It All exactly When You Want It, I’m sure it is very baffling to find yourself in your thirties with no husband and none in sight, with the dawning realization that your job and lonely apartment are not nearly as fulfilling as being a wife and mother would have been. That’s because when you are 17 years old, you don’t know much, especially in this culture of extended adolescence. We laugh at a woman like this sometimes and make fun of her and say, “Didn’t she know that she’d end up like this?” Feminists have sold young women a bill of goods, that they can live like men, work like men, have sex like men, and then turn back into women when they feel like it. However, the more I think about it, the more it seems to me that articles like hers are a good thing simply because they expose the lie. She has only had steady sexual relationships with 18 guys in 15 years! That’s not a lot. Most of my relationships have been long term I have only been with 18 guys and I have been sexually active since I was 17 years old. My parents have tried signing me up for a matrimony site, but of the guys I’d meet they would be turned off by my history (drink/eat meat/not a virgin). Often either to another Indian girl they meet here, or they go back to India for an arranged marriage. Majority of Indian guys usually get married pretty early. At my age getting an arranged marriage or finding another Indian man to marry me is out of the question. However, now my chance of finding someone is gone. I am now 32, and seems like everyone in my family has lapped me. Most white guys I ran into wanted white wives. I did what a lot of my white female friends did I thought I was the same as them, but that could be farther from the truth. I didn’t actually do it to spite Indian men or anything like that.
This part was definitely a realization that has hurt me to the core. They never really viewed me as someone they would eventually marry. However now I realize more than ever that the guys I dated never really took me seriously. Throughout my whole life I never really dated any Indian guys I exclusively dated white guys. People I knew were beginning the next stage of life and saying “I do.” Even with my more progressive friends it began slowly at first, when I was 27 … an engagement post on Facebook, an invite to a wedding-it was happening. I had followed the wrong trail and thus, my “important-life-moments” timeline was off. I live in LA, a city where both men and woman tend to marry a bit later in life, and yet I still spent the last years of my 20‘s feeling that somehow, I’d messed up. My sister (too never kissed a boy) has recently gotten married too at 24 with an Indian boy she met at our Temple (both parents approved). My brother ended up not having any sexual contact with a girl until he got married at 25 (arranged marriage) and now they have a child together. While my brother and followed the traditional Indian path. My brother and sister were very repressed with their sexualities as a result, while I lost my virginity at 17 to my then boyfriend. My family was very strict, when it came to dating and my siblings usually fell in line. In my family I was always the rebellious one I would often challenge my parents. I have a younger brother and younger sister. My parents are first generation immigrants. Sunshine Mary linked to a post from Reddit by a 32-year old “progressive” woman who is surprised that 15 years of sleeping around with 18 different guys is not attractive to marriage-minded men. Does being a virgin before marriage affect marital stability?
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